While this is the time of the year where most of the world is in celebration mode, my husband and I are going through the roughest 3 weeks. We’ve been pushing through, but as I mentioned in one of my previous blogs, it feels like someone pushed off a cliff. Thankfully, we survived. However, “they” have found us alive and since they expected death, they have decided to kick and punch us until we take our last breathe. Sounds dramatic, right? Well, I’m just simply describing what life has felt like for the last few weeks.
I had a week off from work and expected to spend my time zooming through writing my book, but getting thrown off a cliff distracted me a bit. I did do some writing, but nowhere near as much as I’d like. I’ve been, however, praying A LOT and reading – but that doesn’t get books written.
Of course I know it’s all been a distraction. It’s abundantly clear that humanity’s enemy isn’t very happy with us and decided to put a wrench in us fulfilling our purpose, but I have hope, a living hope; His name is Jesus.
Being aware something is a distraction doesn’t eliminate the distraction. It empowers us to make a choice. Do I allow it to distract me or not? I must admit. I was determined to now allow the circumstances around us distract me from what I’ve been feeling the Lord leading me to do, but there are some situations in life that suck the emotional and mental energy out of us. It doesn’t make it impossible to get things done, but it sure does make it difficult.
Many years ago I watched a movie called Soul Surfer. I’ve actually watched that movie several more times, including just a few days ago. There’s something that Bethany Hamilton said that pierced my heart in such a way that I have never been able to forget it. To be honest, I’ve quoted the saying several times these last few weeks. That’s what lead me to watch the move again – I needed some inspiration. I needed the encouragement of a strong testimony of someone who didn’t do anything to deserve the tragic event they experienced.
I don’t need easy. I just need possible.Bethany Hamilton, soul surfer
I know it’s possible to get through what we are going through while still experiencing the Love, Joy, Peace, and abundance that Jesus promised. How? Because Jesus said it was possible.
I also know that we will get through all of this and it will all be ok in the end; actually, better than it was before. How do I know this? I’ve been through stuff. Hard stuff. Maybe not exactly like what I’m going through now, but there are it’s similarities. I made it through that. I will make it through this. There’s one BIG difference this time though.
Jesus changed my life. Jesus changed my husband’s life. We are not the same people we were. The last 3 years has been an incredible journey of learning who our Heavenly Father really is. Who Jesus really is and who Holy Spirit is. Not only have we learned who He is, but we’ve been learning who we are in Him. We’ve been extremely intentional about building our character and integrity to mirror Jesus. We were created to reflect the heart of the Father on Earth, just as Jesus was. Everything we have been through the last 3 years have empowered us to rise above our current situation and handle it in a way that honors God.
During a conference in July the Lord said to me, “Don’t fight for your victory. Stand in it. ” I thought He was speaking about one area of my life, any maybe He was, but that word is another phrase that’s on repeat around here. Truth overcomes lies. Life overcomes death. Light overcomes darkness. Good overcomes evil. EVERYTIME.
So, that means it’s possible. It may be hard as heck. There may be tears, heartache, and occasional moments of despair, but
I don’t need easy. I just need possible.
Yesterday, the book writing mentoring course I’m a part of went live and spoke about a spirit of heaviness. They talked what it does, how it operates, and how to conquer it. I instantly knew that what I was experiencing was to bring a heaviness over me to prevent me from writing. But to be honest, the heaviness he was talking about yesterday was pretty “heavy.” My heart was in pain and I just couldn’t bring myself to write, even though I knew I had a river of revelation flowing.
This morning my husband said “Jason posted a word for you on Facebook.” I laughed and said, “oh, really? He didn’t send me anything.”
Mike responded “Go check out his Facebook page.”
My jaw dropped. There it was. A word straight from God’s heart to me…in a Facebook post. It said
This is for a select sister in the faith:
“You’re brushing aside heaven’s downloads. You continue to hear Gold from the Lord and you brush it off. Don’t delete it like spam!
Start writing. The Holy Spirit himself will anoint your pen and your gift of scrive will be a blessing to many.
But it’s your move daughter.”Jason Rhodes
I don’t believe Jason knows this word is for me, but I’m grateful for His relationship and obedience with the Holy Spirit.
In the midst of all the craziness, I’ve been spending time with God and receiving so much revelation. I just couldn’t bring myself to write. Even in the receiving I’ve been feeling like I don’t have much of anything to give. Have you ever felt like that?
We had gone to a meeting and on the way back Brian Simmons was speaking in the book writing mentoring course. He spoke about vision and touched on inspiration and revelation. That’s was #3 for me.
How many times was I going to need God to be very clear in what He was trying to say to me? #3 was enough. So, here I am. Penning what is in my heart. This is for my blog, but I’ll be following this up with continuing my book. Why? Because there’s a River that is flowing from within me. I feel like I have nothing to offer, but isn’t that the point? I don’t want to give of myself. What I can give is flawed, but Jesus! What Jesus has to offer us all is pure gold and that is what I want to provide everyone who reads what I have to say. Gold that comes from Him.
I have nothing to give, so, it’s the perfect time to write. It’s the perfect state to be in for Him to flow. In my weakness HE is made strong; He is glorified. It doesn’t feel good right now. It’s hard, really hard, but…
I don’t need easy. I just need possible.